by Gene Mahoney
Horse-Trading Favorable Editorial Coverage for Advertising Dollars since 1999 Januar 2000 - Well, it's finally up and functional! No, not that, I'm talking about this fine publication's official website, sfherald.com! Besides getting vital news 24-7 in 5 languages (thanks to Newssurfer), you can find all the less-than-vital crap you normally read here, plus other stories I can't fit within the narrow confines of the SF Herald print version. Tell your friends! Tell your enemies! Check it out!... New restaurant in the "new" Mission: Luna Park (694 Valencia), owned by Joe Jack & A.J. Gilbert, who describe it as "a casual, inexpensive place for American Comfort food." Opens in mid-June.... A great place to eat not far from Luna Park is Cable Car Pizza (535 Valencia), owned by Said Amin, who promises fast, free delivery every day until 3am (so you speed-freaks out there won't go to bed hungry). Said also serves pasta, N.Y steak, and risotto (diced chicken, mushrooms, carrots, and herbs over rice). He's also looking for new drivers and counter help. Call 431-8880 or fax 431-9018.... The latest celeb watch at Hana Zen on Cyril Magnin: Beck, Sean Lennon, and Boy George.... "The coolest bookstore in California" according to its owner, Mark Pinsukanjana, former C.F.O. at Berkeley Rep, is Modernbook (494 University Avenue in Palo Alto). It's been around for 6 months now and let me tell you, it IS chic. Modernbook is home to the biggest book in the world. The biggest literally -- 66 pounds! It's Sumo; a collection of Helmut Newton photos (only $1500). The table it rests on was designed by famous French product designer Philippe Starck. Mark's partner is Bryan Yedinak, who describes their store as "a minimalist loft-like gallery with a tranquil atmosphere." Open every day from 11am to 10 pm (sometimes later). Visit their reception for Philippe Glade, a SF-based floral photographer as he presents his "digital garden". It's on June 16th at 8pm. Visit www.modernbook.com.... Comedy Night very Monday at the Rose & Crown Pub in Palo Alto (547 Emerson). Shows start at 8:30pm.... Quiz Night every Tuesday at Edinburgh Castle in SF (950 Geary). Great prizes and brainy questions. Sessions start at 8:30pm.... |
| Toon Boonyagarn at Thai World Best Noodle Bar (1968 Lombard near Webster) now has karaoke 10:30pm to 2:30am every night. Join me for a drink or dinner (whatever you want, it's on you) there at 8pm on Friday, June 9th. Please show up, this place is a best-kept secret in the Marina.... Also, please show up for the next San Francisco Herald Night where we'll be celebrating a future national holiday -- MY BIRTHDAY! No gifts necessary, your mere presence is a present. It's at Litsu (550 Geary between Taylor and Jones, 415-441-4442, www.litsu.com).... Justice 4 None presents an evening of comedy improv at the Mock Cafe (next door to the Marsh Theater), 1062 Valencia Street in SF on Friday, June 2nd at 10pm. Tickets are a measly $5. According to the press release: "Judge Judy meets Monty Python in this hilarious lampoon of the legal system based on audience suggestions. The audience becomes the jury as Justice 4 None assumes the roles of judge, lawyer, plaintiff, defendant, and witness." Also appearing June 8th at Big Lil's Barbary Cabaret, 157 West San Fernando Street in San Jose. Call (415)387-6959 for more info.... Anthony Robbins' DATE WITH DESTINY June 6-10 in Palm Springs. Call (800) 898-8669 for info.... Visit Jesse down at what may be the city's last old-time ice cream/candy shop, Toyboat (Clement at 5th Avenue).... Davie Johnson (not the baseball manager) is the new lead singer of Frankie Goes to Hollywood (whose original lead singer was Holly Johnson to whom he's not related) and I talked to him backstage before their show at Maritime Hall a little while back. According to him, 4 of the original 5 band members don't mind the new lineup, and most of the audience didn't seem to mind, either, as the show closed with a funky, George Clinton-esque version of the 1984 mega-hit "Relax". Look for their new single "Mr. Jones" soon. Call Dave Hill, "the world's greatest hypnotist "at (510) 785-8152 for "hilarious hypnotic stage shows" and "awesome hypnotic persuasion & motivational seminars"... |
| Magician Steve Koehler available for parties, call (650) 326-3824.... 2I year old British author Zadie Smith reads from her book White Teeth, June 10, 7pm, at A Clean, Well-Lighted Place for Books.... If you enjoy the comics and writing of Ace Backwords, visit him as he hawks his merchandise in front of Cody's Books on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley, pretty much every day.... Tracy Green has opened Girl Stuff (2255 Polk), a boutique featuring women's accessories, handbags, jewelry, shoes. She says her shop is "more fashion forward -- something you don't see often in the city.".... Lush Lounge is the new gay bar on the corner of Polk and Post.... Not far from that is Club 1028 (1028 Geary), now open for business just about every evening, which is a departure from their club-oriented-theme-night way of doing business before.... Those pretty pastel-lettered wall menus you see at creperies around town are done by local artist Ingrid, whom you can find working out of her studio/garage in the "new" Mission. Need art? Call her at (415) 487-6274.... Sorry if this issue's GOOD CLEAN FUN comic starring Wembley & Chauncy is a rerun, but it's summertime, right? Actually, "Whatever Happened to Overgrown Adolescent Jon?" was the first full-length (i.e. non- 4 panel-type comic strip) cartoon I ever drew (originally written in my fleabag apartment in the Tender-Nob, on Taylor between Post & Sutter). Enjoy!... |
| My early birthday present: Last night I was at Fanny & Alexander's in Shallow Alto (don't ask) and afterwards, walking back to my piece-of-shit '87 Nissan Stanza, I was almost run over by a red-light runner in an Audi or a BMW or some expensive new car. I let him know how I felt, so Mr. Macho decided to stop the car in the middle of the road to show me he heard me. I went over to this cocky twentysomething and said, "How's it going? Look, you can't run red lights. You almost hit me and you might kill someone if you keep doing it." That didn't seem to faze him. "Did you say something to me back there?" he asked, glaring. "Yeah, I said 'FUCK YOU'." "I don't like that." "I don't like almost being run over." "You want to do something about this?" "Yeah." "Meet me on the corner over there." "Okay." I waited around for a few minutes but he never showed up, until I saw what looked just like him and his chic new car at the red light on the corner. He looked over, pretended he didn't see me when I looked at him, and kept driving, ignoring the ample parking on the side of the road. Oh well, at least he did stop at the red light down the street before hanging a right. I'm not beating my chest like Tarzan because I scared off some arrogant jerk that thought he didn't have to stop for a red light the same way Larry "Oracle" Ellison thinks he doesn't have to follow the rules at San Jose Airport. The whole incident was stupid and pointless, but to me it really sums up the new attitude of the post-1996 Bay Area. You'd think guys like this, who either got a bundle of cash from mommy and daddy, or hit the jackpot in the dot-com lottery, would be so grateful about what they have that they'd have a little more benevolent attitude about life (and toward their neighbors). I've been out here for 15 years and I don't know if we can call SUV's being parked on sidewalks and an increase in red light running real progress. Oh well, enough kvetching. Show up for my 35th, uh, 29th birthday at Litsu, okay? And I suppose this issue you're reading is the San Francisco Herald 2-Year Anniversary Issue, since I started this rag in July of '98. Thanks to all of you, my readers. But most of all, thanks to my advertisers, who pay my bills. Yeah, come to think of it, I suppose I thank my advertisers more than my readers. If you're just a reader, call me at (415) 267-3957 and become an advertiser. See you, and look both ways before you cross the street. |
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