It's December 2, 2003 as I type this and I just read in today's paper that the California Assembly overwhelmingly passed a bill overturning the one they overwhelmingly passed a couple of months ago -- SB60, which grants driver's licenses to illegal aliens. You've got to love those winners we have in Sacramento. Not only are they morons for passing SB60, but they're spineless morons who vote to repeal it a couple of months later.

I've been printing an extra thousand copies of the Herald for the past few months and dropping them off in Los Angeles, at about 50 locations, mostly in Hollywood, Santa Monica, Venice, Marina del Rey, Burbank, and the latest trendy new neighborhood down there -- Los Feliz (sorry, Silverlake).

I don't know why I'm doing this .I mean, if I eventually started a Los Angeles s Herald, it would probably meet the same fate as my other publications (remember the Silicon Valley Herald, the San Mateo Herald, the Berkeley Herald, the Marin Herald, and the Santa Cruz Herald? No? Well there you go). You would think that if the Herald could thrive, uh, well, survive in San Francisco, it would fare even better in the nation's second largest city. Well, you would think, but sadly, it probably wouldn't. SF Herald columnist Harris Rosenbloom put it best: "In SanFrancisco people walk to cafes, in Los Angeles people drive to Starbuck's." He's right. It's more like Silicon Valley with pretty people down there.

I used to live in Marina del Rey back in '90 (I interned on Seinfeld -- a true story -- I should write about that some time) and even though I was mad at Tinseltown because I didn't make it in show biz within 2 months, perhaps I'm feeling a little nostalgic for the place. Why, I couldn't tell you. I get nostalgic and sentimental about anything if you give me enough time. Anyway, I've noticed a lot of shop owners have been enthusiastic when I dropped off the November and December issues (apparently they enjoyed the October and November ones), so we'll see what happens. Heck, the Cartoon Network is located in downtown Burbank. Maybe one of the execs over there will pick up a copy and we'll see Wembley and Chauncy on television someday (yeah, and maybe an Al Sharpton/Gray Davis ticket will win the presidency in '04)....

I've wised up regarding travel to Los Angeles. I used to take I-5 down because it was faster, but 101 is so much prettier that it's worth the extra hour or so. I mean, what town would you rather take a break in -- Pasa Robles or Fresno? I'll tell you a great town to stop at -- San Luis Obispo. I heard it got voted the best place to live in the U.S. a few years ago by some prominent publication or organization. I parked the car in downtown SLO, got out and walked around until some people motioned me into an art exhibit/reception being thrown at Mannikins, which isn't a bar or restaurant, but a tailor shop. Catherine Doyle owns it and she's not only a seamstress, but an accomplished photographer as well. The reception was part of the Art After Dark program the SLO Arts Council and media giant New Times sponsor (visit sloartscouncil.org for more info).

I should mention a singer/guitarist named Deborah Kirk who gave me a copy of her CD Fearless after her set at 2 Dogs Coffee, but I can't as the CD is defective and won't play. Visit her web site at deborahkirk.com if you want more info than I can give you. A few hours of bar hopping later, at about 11 p.m., I returned to my car and decided to close my eyes for a minute before I went to a motel. I awoke at 4 a.m., still in the car, got out and walked around for a while until a place that sold coffee opened. Java in hand, I walked the empty streets of beautiful downtown SLO. And then I saw it. I had heard of it once in my life. I had never thought about it even once since I heard about it 25 years ago, but as soon as I saw it, it all came back to me -- the moment I saw it. What am I going on about? Bubble Gum Alley!

It's a space between 2 stores where people take wads of gum from their mouths and stick them on the walls to let them harden and hang there. Some people stretch their gum wads out and write the names of their girlfriends, boyfriends, sororities, fraternities, whatever. I had seen a segment about this on the late '70's TV show Real People starring Skip Stevenson and Sarah Purcell. I had totally forgotten about it, but as soon as I saw it, I'm not making this up, church bells rang from down the street and I knew what it was instantly. It was a very spiritual experience. I guess....

Still reeling from this rapture, I staggered into Linneas Cafe, a delightful "European style coffee house" and ordered breakfast. The owner and workers were very nice and I even talked to Barry Goyette, a local filmmaker who was dining there.

He told me about his recent premiere at Lady X Films (ladyxfilms.com), a web site consisting of numerous 3 to 7 minute films from all over the world revolving around Lady X, a female spy character (all the films must begin and end with an appearance by her). Nice guy. Go online and check his film out. I hopped in the car and headed south. Too bad I didn't have time to see my old buddy Leigh Rubin, who lives near SLO and draws a cartoon panel for about 400 newspapers titled Rubes. Locally, I think the Palo Alto Daily News runs it, but I'm not sure. Everyone thinks he was heavily inspired by Gary Larson's The Far Side, but he told me that Rubes started about the same time The Far Side did, and that he picked up a lot of new papers when Larson retired. He's had 10 collections of his comics published and his latest are The Wild Life of Cows and The Wild Life of Farm Animals (Bowtie Press). Visit fancypubs.com for more info....

I saw San Francisco's version of Jack Black, Brad Clark perform at a couple of clubs recently. Good stuff. Get his CD Hard Fall Will Reign at bradclarkmusic.com....

Jack's Elixir Bar at 16th & Guerrero has reopened as Elixir, and new owner Joseph Ehrmann has restored the place to its Victorian glory, complete with classic Mahogany and candles. Check out ElixirSF.com for more info....

Thanks to Colin O'Malley and John Giuffre at Wish Bar & Lounge (1539 Folsom) and Bill Herrmann at the Holy Cow (1535 Folsom) for letting me, along with 4 beautiful models, promote that new "Vitality Drink Mix" that's sweeping the whole country, Herc (buyherc.com). And thanks to Ryan C. Potter at aniligital music (aniligital.com), a local techno music label, for helping me figure out the digital camera....

And don't forget to check out SF Herald Night at Zebulon (83 Natoma off 2nd Street between Mission and Howard), 7 to 10 pm the second Tuesday of each month. If you're a poet, musician, comic, writer or whatever and you want to perform contact me at editor@sfherald.com.