by Gene Mahoney
Gossip! Shameless Plugs for Advertisers!
April 2000
No, you're not hallucinating. This is a brand-new-spankin' issue of the SF Herald. I know you're used to waiting 2 months (or sometimes even longer) for this rag to finally hit your favorite coffeehouse, but like I said last issue, this is a monthly now. The big leagues! And I want to thank you for all the nice mail you've sent me (it helps to offset all the hate mail I get). Some of you have written me an interesting question: "Hey, Gene, who's that pathetic guy wheeling that ricketty old baby carriage full of SF Heralds all over town?" Well, that's me! Download Deli mastermind Chris Dean saw me struggling with the bundles of papers I have to lug around (as you know, I'm not only the president of the SF Herald, I'm also the delivery boy) and gave me this beat-up old baby carriage someone left in his cafe (sans the baby I hope). Well, it's the thought that counts, but this thing is so decrepid that the only thing it's good for is having people laugh when they see me kicking and cursing as it continually falls apart. I realize I didn't receive one response when I made that tempting offer two issues ago looking for an intern I could exploit for no money, but here goes: Does anyone have a dolly lying around the house they don't need anymore? I guess I could go out and buy one, but it sure would be nicer if somebody gave me one for free. Hell, give me one and I'll take you out to dinner at the restaurant of my choice. Email me at: editor@sfherald.com or leave a message at (415) 267-3957. Heck, I'll even thank you in the next issue. What a deal....
As I write this, this fine publication's official website, www.sfherald.com, is up. We've been having some trouble getting any new content on it besides issue 8, but we're working on it. Who knows, by the time you read this it might be chock full o' goodies. Regardless, you can click on and get news 24-7. Check it out.... Make sure you make this: Meet me and some other weirdoes who write for this magazine at San Francisco Herald Night on Thursday, April 20th, 7PM at SF Pizza, 1602 Lombard (at Gough). Call 567-8646 for more info. Their web site is www.bestsfpizza.com.... If I wasn't so self-absorbed and didn't keep babbling about MY problems in last issue's Society Page, I would have had more room to talk about the latest hip scene in our fair city. I'm talkin' about the action goin' on down near the Hall of Justice. It used to be the only businesses down there were cop bars and bail bondsmen (oh, excuse me, bail bondspeople). Ha! But not anymore. First it started innocently enough with a new McDonald's. Then came Cafe Mars. Then a bar called Annie's. Then Caffe Roma.
Then came a swing kind of place called The Max, and then another hipster hangout called Gin Joint. Let's focus on Gin Joint, because they might actually advertise with me. Gin Joint (formerly The Inn Justice) was a cop bar and hofbrau that had been in business since 1962 (at least that's what their press release says). The bar's new interior was designed by Amy Mautz, who blended the "old school" elements with revamped, early '60's modern details, resulting in "a warm hideaway, a lounge with a heart". Gin Joint is owned by "Bay Area bar veterans" Andrew Finkelman, Brian Looby, and Dina Rao. Andrew and I were thinking that this new hip area of town needs a better name than "Near the Hall of Justice". No, this town has way too many names for its neighborhoods, so why stop now? You don't live in Cole Valley, you live in the nice part of the Haight where those horrible kids don't ask you for money. You don't live in Lower Pacific Heights, you live in the Western Addition, and there's nothing wrong with that, you yuppie scum. Lower Pacific Heights? How can you live in Lower Heights? Oh well, let's keep this tradition going. We can't just refer to this as just another area under the South of Market heading, can we? Here's what you do: Send me your suggestion for a new name for this part of town near the Hall of Justice and if I like it, we'll reprint it in the next issue and you'll win dinner for two at Gin Joint. Email it to: editor@sfherald.com or send it to: 815 Geary, suite 115, SF, CA 94109. NO PHONE CALLS! Don't forget to include your name and a daytime phone number. Entrees must be in by April 22, 2000....
There's a new restaurant at 199 Gough (@ Oak) called Paul K. It looks nice. I wasn't invited to the opening, but it looked nice from the outside.... There's a new Thai restaurant opening soon where Oberon ("Raves about the Rack Of Lamb") was at 1450 Lombard.... I dropped off a thousand promo copies of the Herald in Los Angeles a couple of weeks ago. Some shops on Melrose were nice enough to carry me so why not check them out online: Vinyl Fetish Records (www.vinylfetishrecords.com), Retail Slut (www.retailslut.com), Redemption (www.offmelrose.com), and ecstacy Melrose, sacred pleasures, divine medicines (no web site listed, but you can call 323-857-5300). Walking down my old neighborhood in Santa Monica, I ran into former Saturday Night Live player/ voice of Principal Skinner on "The Simpsons" Harry Shearer (quite a talented fellow). A nice guy, too. I said to him, "Harry Shearer! I'm a big fan!" and he said "Glad to see you." Is that an amazing story or what?!!!.... Of course it's old news, you're reading it here: The owners of Power Exchange, the city's sex club have opened a cocktail lounge for strippers, trannies, and others on Larkin at Turk, right near the Phoenix Hotel. It's called Jezebel's Joint. Check out their web site at www.jezebelsjoint.com....
Jack Yaghubian II's book The Dim Light Bar Guide, a step-by-step manual on how to treat bartenders, is still available at City Lights in North Beach and on Amazon.com.... Faiz down at Global Bazaar Cafe (401 O'Farrell @ Taylor) now has mailboxes available.... How to take a trip to Florida to visit your parents and turn it into a tax write-off: If you ever get stuck in, uh, I mean if you're ever in Tampa, make sure you visit Ybor City. It's definately the hippest part of town. Once a haven for Cuban cigar shops, this long stretch of a street has become a mini- downtown Santa Cruz (sans the horrible kids panhandling) adorned with blues clubs, nauseatingly trendy clothing stores, nauseatingly trendy dance clubs, retro-beatnik cafes, new-age shops, Irish pubs, and of course, Cuban cigar shops. Call your travel agent.... Make a difference in the life of a youth. Be a volunteer tutor. Support and training provided. Call Kate at the Seven Tepees Youth Program at (415) 752-8733.... Suzanne Dunaway, someone who illustrated for The New Yorker for 15 years and threw dinner parties for people like Bob Dylan and Joan Baez (according to the press release I was sent) is the president and head baker at Buona Forchetta Hand Made Breads in Los Angeles. She'll be signing her upcoming book No Need to Knead at A Clean, Well-Lighted Place For Books on May 12th at 5:30pm. Call (310) 477-2229 for more info....
Sandy Snakenberg, a manager & trainer at Valencia Muscle & Fitness (333 Valencia, 626-8360) broke the world record for in-line speed skating in a 24 hour period by rollerblading 316 miles around the Golden Gate Park Polo Fields. Make sure you sign up for a membership at VM&F (see this issue's ad). It's a real gym, not one of those tacky pick-up places disguising itself as a gym. Jim Schmidt, a former U.S. Olympic weightlifing coach, and Kirk Ireland, former owner of 9th Avenue Fitness in the Sunset, run the place with partner Don Weideman. I work out there, and seeing yours truly in shorts is worth a good laugh (and the membership fee). See you there, punk.
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Who says this column is a waste of
time? Thanks to all the bitching and moaning I did in last month's Society Page
about not being invited to the opening party of Paul K (that hip new restaurant
at Gough and Oak) I received a thank-you note for mentioning them along with
an invitation from owner Paul Kavouksorian to buy me a complimentary martini.
Well, here's a thank-you note for that nice little thank-you note you sent me,
Paul.... Not far from Paul K is Marlena's (488 Hayes), now presenting "Marlena's
Girls" (AKA drag queens) hosted by "The Black Bitch Herself--- Toby". When asked
to describe the show, Marlena, the owner (that's why the place is called Marlena's)
looks at me in disgust and says, "It's a drag show!"
Marlena started Marlena's
10 years ago this June. Before that it was also a gay bar, but "a tough one"
as the new owner likes to point out. With the '89 quake collapsing the Central
Freeway, Hayes Valley was suddenly populated with Eurotrash cafes, trendy hair
salons, designer jewelry/ clothing stores, and now... drag shows. Performances
are at 10pm Fridays and 10pm & Midnight on Saturdays. No cover.... Also in Hayes
Valley is The Magical Trinket (524 Hayes). No, it doesn't have any drag shows,
but it really is the place to go for beads. As a matter of fact, last year the
Bay Guardian voted it "Best Place to Bead Your Troubles Away" in their Best
of the Bay section (I'll bet people really voted that way, that they didn't
just put it in there to entice owner Eve Blake to advertise with them). Eve
opened the shop in '93 after spending 35 years in advertising and describes
it as "A bead store with nice ambiance"....
On the same block as Eve is Herr
Gunter Frivert's Pomp Home Furnishings (516 Hayes). The hand-carved sculptures
and wood masks from Lombock, Indonesia have finally arrived! Call 864-1830 for
more info.... And now, we wrap up this issue's Hayes Valley tour with a trip
to BPM Music. Owner Victor Critchfield calls his place "A nice underground record
store". The difference between his shop and the others? "We're the oldest store
that's devoted exclusively to underground house." Victor bought the store in
'98 from Ismael Clermont and Jeremy Cohen (AKA DJ Digit) ....Bummed that The
Full Spectrum, that indoor gardening store which sprouted up in the Haight last
year has died? Well, don't be! There's a new indoor gardening store at 227 Seventh
Street called Firefly! Eric Asakawa and his silent partner (whom Eric is keeping
silent about) opened the doors to this new business on April 1st (no fooling).
In Mike Wallace fashion, I asked him if the people walking through the doors
of Firefly were serious gardeners or just marijuana farmers. His response?
"Everyone
who shops at my store is a serious gardener." Eric's in his late 20's and used
to work with tissue culture (cloning orchids) at Rod McLellan. Before that he
was at Cal studying Plant Bio. He grew up on a nursery in San Diego. Check it
out.... And don't forget, for more indoor gardening supplies, to check out Plant'It
Earth (2215 Market) where Brooke and her friendly staff will be happy to help
you find whatever it is you need to find.... Remember in the early '90's when
it looked like SF's famous North Beach bar LaRocca's would be having it's last
call? Well, it rebounded as a haven for Swing kids who would go there after
an evening at Bimbo's. Now new owners Martin Coyne and the charming Michael
Roddy have given it a different atmosphere; kind of a Cheers-type pub with a
more regular crowd. Go visit this famous watering hole at 957 Columbus....
Metro Cafe, in the Metro Hotel (Divisadero
between Oak & Page) was taken over again by Jacques Manuera and Patricia Combrisson.
Jacques owns Baker Street Bistro (near the Presidio) and Alamo Square ( Fillmore
@ Fulton). Patricia describes the new Metro as "a neighborhood bistro with country-style
French cuisine". Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and brunch (on weekends) is served
indoors or out on their beautiful patio. It's closed Mondays, and private parties
are available.... Speaking of French cafe owners, don't forget to visit Mr.
Ralph's Cafe (90 Natoma, off 2nd Street near Mission & Howard) and Francisco
& Molly's (located diagonally across the street), both owned by Ms. Robin Boley-Alvarez
and her French husband, Francois. It's not far from Pac Bell Park, so why go
to a crowded restaurant closer to Townsend just before a game when you've got
these places?.... More about the French: Hyde Street Bistro (1521 Hyde) is still
a culinary favorite after all these years, owned by Francochef Fabrice Marcon
and his American wife Betty. Says Betty: "We bought it in '87.
It had been a
successful restaurant for 10 years, owned by Albert Rainer. He was a showman,
everyone loved him, he schmoozed. It was a Northern Italian & Alsatian restaurant.
We wanted to recreate a Paris bistro like Linda Dannenburg wrote about in her
book Paris Bistro Cooking." Betty & Fabrice met in the kitchen at the Grand
Hotel in Stockholm. Betty was there with ther father, who won the Nobel Prize
for Physics in '88. "I asked to see the hotel pastry shop. The pastry chef was
so thrilled he asked me to work for him someday. Two years later, after getting
experience in San Francisco, I returned and went back and started working there
in October '90. Fabrice had been sent to the same hotel by his employer in France,
Paul Bocuse, the world's most famous French restaurant." They met and hit it
off, getting married 15 months later during the jubilee celebration of the 90th
anniversary of the awarding of the Nobel Prize.
About Melvin Schwartz, Betty's father:
His research team bombarded a 40 ton stell wall with atomic particles, thus
proving the existence of the Muon Neutrino, a subatomic particle that has no
mass.... Peter and Bianca de Vries, owners of Cafe Bean (754 Post) have added
a second Tender-Nob location at 800 Sutter (@ Jones), which should be open by
the time you read this. The new cafe is bigger, has Dutch pancakes, European
beers & wines, pasta salads, and pastries. The cafe also has its own newsletter....
Need a haircut? Then head down to brice a salon at 1920 Market Street. Owner
Cooper Brice Johnson, a Goldwell hair-care product salesman, opened brice in
December of '98, in the same spot where the old Rage Salon was. "The size of
the place is very intimate. I think a lot of customers prefer that to going
to a big salon downtown., " he says. "It's downtown quality at uptown prices,
baby! Plus there's parking here."....
Noe Valley has a couple of new businesses.
See Jane Run Sports (3870-24th St.), managed by Lisa Raphael, opened on April
Fool's Day. Owner Lori Shannon: "We're an athletic store selling athletic apparel
and footwear to women of all shapes and sizes. Most athletic stores don't service
women, period. 50% of all runners are women, and women buy 80% of all athletic
apparel. They buy for their husbands or boyfriends." Or both. Lori works full
time at EDS (Ross Perot's old company).... April 7th saw the opening of Getups
(4028-B- 24th St.), a store owner Miles Barry describes as "New & used clothing--
urban, funky. The name of the store is from one of Maya Angelou's books of short
stories." Before this Miles was a window designer for "a large corporation"
he'd prefer not to mention. He likes Getups better as there's "more creative
self-expression"....
Squished Eyeball Theatre (340 Mason
off Geary) just opened. Manager Skip Sikora told me it's owned by Bob Pritikin,
who recently sold The Mansions Hotel, which he had for 22 years. Bob's also
the head magician and producer of the magic show there, which costs $29 for
adults and $19 for kids 12 & under. On the lobby walls are some scary sights:
Scary masks, a mural of scary images by renouned Chicago artist Christopher
Burlini, and scariest of all--- Dick Nixon's actual letter of resignation sent
to Henry Kissinger. Speaking of magic, does anyone remember Doug Henning? Well,
he died a couple of months ago. Hey, do you want to see a great magician who's
still alive? Then give me buddy Steve Koehler a call at (650) 326-3824 to liven
up that party or other social event....
Youngish, Gen-X-ish author Jennifer
Robin gave an impassioned reading of her novel, Bouzi, recently at Border's
Books near Union Square. The critically-acclaimed book is available there in
paperback.... Speaking of youngish, Gen-X-ish authors, belated congratulations
to Dave Eggers, author of the very critically-acclaimed A Heartbreaking Work
of Staggering Genius. As you probably know, Dave was the editor/publisher of
the now defunct Might magazine, and also drew that hilarious Smart Feller cartoon
for the SF Weekly before defecting to New York to work at Esquire....
Hey, if
you're ever in Menlo Park and have worked up an appetite by acting pretentious
at Caffe Barrone, then walk across the street and have some non-fancy, down-home
Mexican grub at Mextogo (1081 El Camino Real). Luis and Ana Osequera have the
best burritos I've ever tasted. Sometimes at night I can't sleep because I'm
just counting the hours until I can drive all the way down there just for lunch.
Catering available, too. Call (650) 321-9669....
America's Blind Olympians Need
Your Help: Send any donation you can to my jujitsu teacher, Willie Cahill, who's
coaching our visually-impaired athletes for the 2000 Paralympic Games in Sydney.
Anything will help! Call (650) 589-0724.... Woe! What is this? I've mentioned
a bunch of people who don't advertise with me. Time to fix that, and return
this column to its rightful corrupt, puppet-of-sponsors form: I'm tellin' ya,
you've got to check out Bill and those other maniacs who work at Sunset Sauna
(1214 20th Avenue).
Their motto is "Support
Ethical Massage, Rub Someone the Right Way". You want it, they've got it: full
body massage, sauna, clay and acupressure facials, master massage therapists,
four handed massages, chair massages, pagoda massages, on-site chair massages,
couples massages, steam room, mud packs, salt glows, body polishes, kelp and
aloe wraps, clay facials, accupressure facials, YOU NAME IT! Don't just sit
there! Pick up the phone and call 753-2559! What's that? You're in the South
bay? Then call Grand Central Sauna and Hot Tub at (408) 247-8827! What's that?
You're in the city but you don't want to leave the beauty of the Tenderloin/
Civic Center district?
Then call Grand Central Sauna and Hot Tub at 431-1370
and visit them at 15 Fell Street!... In last month's column I offered dinner
for two at Gin Joint for whoever comes up with the best name for the neighborhood
around the Hall Of Justice. I got no decent suggestions. Try it again. Email
me at: editor@sfherald.com or mail it to: 815 Geary #115, SF, CA 94109. No phone
calls!... Make sure you visit me and some other weirdoes who write for this
magazine, along with the usual weirdoes who frequent this place. I'm talking
about the next San Francisco Herald Night at Jezebel's Joint (510 Larkin @ Turk).
Call 345-9832 for more info. Show up, or I'm coming after you.
If you wish to read more , click here!
Gene can be emailed here