The Winona Trilogy

Winona Rides

I was sitting in my red Hyundai, stopped at a traffic light on Sunset. A black BMW pulled up next to me. I looked over and saw Winona Ryder sitting behind the steering wheel. Her window was open. I waved to her. "Winona, baby, I love you. Let’s get lunch." Winona glanced at me quickly, then looked away. I leaned out my window. "Listen, Winona, you and I need to do a project together. We need a good vehicle. Something from the heart, you know?" She turned to me quickly. "Uhh, thanks…no." I smiled.

"Well, listen, I’ve seen all your work. Great stuff, beautiful stuff. You and I should do a drama together. Something people can relate to." She ignored me, but I continued. "People are tired of the big action stuff, you know, like Aliens 4, Rocky 5. All that junk. They want something more romantic. Like Officer and a Gentle--" Winona turned to me sharply. "Hey, I was in Aliens 4." I paused. I looked at her. "Oh, well, baby…I loved Aliens 4." The light turned green. Winona’s car raced off in a screech of tires

New Wave Champagne

Just after New Year’s I went to a party at Aaron Spelling’s house in the Hills. It was a crowded party. I saw the producer Vince Blunno talking with David Lane and Drew Barrymore. Drew was giving Dave a neck rub. I drifted past them and walked over to the bar. I ordered a champagne. I picked up my champagne and strolled out to the balcony overlooking Los Angeles. Smog had covered most of the city. I couldn’t see the ocean. At that moment a beautiful blonde walked up next to me. I smiled at her and gestured with my champagne.

"Beautiful night."

The blonde sipped some of her champagne. "I guess so." I looked at her for a moment. The way she held her chin seemed familiar. There was something about her profile. Suddenly I recognized her: Terri Nunn, the lead singer of Berlin. "Oh wow, Terri, baby-- how are you?" She nodded slowly and took a sip of champagne. "Fine." I shook her hand.

"I’m a big fan. You are just awesome." "Thanks." "So, baby, tell me, how’s the music life?" Terri inspected her champagne for a moment. "Mmm, this is good stuff." I took a sip. "Yeah." She looked at me. "I’m sorry, what were you saying?" "Oh, you know, just wondering about you..." I gave her my big smile, the one that had reeled in Barbra Streisand. "I mean, you are just so fine. You are one beautiful lady. And your eyes. If I could buy all the stars in the sky--" "Enough, enough." She waved her hand at me. "I hate all this silly talk." I smiled. "Sure, baby. It’s just that, you know, you’re so graceful and all." "Thanks."

Terri looked out at the twinkling lights of the city. She took a sip of champagne. "Wow, what a view." "Yeah." She paused. "But you know, I really don’t like this town." "Oh, baby, don’t say that." "I mean this whole place…" She gestured at the city with her hand. "The only good thing is that I met my husband here." "Oh, baby, you’re married?" "Engaged." I nodded. "Oh. Okay." Terri shivered for a moment. She took a sip of her champagne. "All the men here...all they talk about are their big wallets." "Not me, baby." She laughed. "I like you. You’re like a big clown. And you’re genuine. I like that." "Yeah, baby." She held up her champagne glass. "Here’s to the good men." "Right on." We clinked our glasses. Just at that moment, Winona Ryder drifted by. She spotted Terri.

"Oh my God, Terri Nunn. Wow." She ran up to us. "Oh my God. I-am-such-a-Berlin-fan." Terri winked at me and turned to Winona. "Thanks." Winona reached out and shook Terri’s hand. "Wow, I mean, my friends and I thought you were such a great artist. Just as a woman and all. I mean, you are so beautiful. You have such class." "Thank you." "I mean, like, look at MTV and the role of women and everything. You are so awesome. You transcended all the stereotypes, you know?" Terri smiled. She took a sip of her champagne and nodded. "What was your favorite Berlin record?" "Oh, well, I liked them all. I had a poster of you that was so expressive. You seemed to capture the whole post-modern thing, you know-- like sort of--" Terri put up her hand. "Whoah-- slow down." Winona smiled bashfully. "Sorry, I’m just a little excited." Terri patted Winona on the arm. "That’s all right." She took a sip of her champagne. "What’s your name?"

Winona froze. She looked at Terri blankly. Her mouth opened, but no sound came out. I put my arm around Winona’s shoulder and turned to Terri. "Terri, baby, this is the lovely and the talented Winona Ryder." Winona ignored me. She smiled at Terri. "Are you playing in town? I’d love to see you." Terri took a sip of her champagne. "We played last night, actually…But listen, your name’s familiar..." I smiled. "Yes, Winona was in Aliens 4." Terri sputtered. "Aliens 4?" Winona looked from me to Terri. "Uh…yeah…" Terri spit out part of her champagne. "Oh my God, that’s…" She began to cough. I looked at her. "Baby, are you all right? Do you need some water?" "--Aliens 4?"

"Yeah." "Oh my God..." She seemed to be choking. "…That’s…horrible…" I tried to pat her on the back. "Baby, are you okay?" Winona looked from me to Terri. "Umm…" I patted Terri’s back. After a moment, she seemed to catch her breath. I looked at her. "Are you okay, baby?" She coughed lightly. "Yeah." I put my arm around her. "Maybe we should get some more champagne?..." She nodded and coughed. "Yeah…all right." Winona looked from me to Terri. "I’m sorry…I didn’t--"

I ignored her and led Terri back into the main room.

We headed for the bar.

Winona Cries

I saw Winona again at Ted Danson’s birthday party at Feldman’s. I walked up to her and tried to give her a hug. "Winona, baby…" She pushed me away. "Get away from me." I held my arms out wide. "Baby…" "Leave me alone." "Oh, baby, don’t be that way…" "Ughh. I hate you." "Baby, don’t say that. You don’t mean that." She shook her head fiercely. "Yes, I do." "But, baby…" "I hate you…"

Winona started to cry. I put out my arms softly. I touched her shoulder lightly. "Oh, baby, come here. What’s the matter?" A tear ran down Winona’s face. Suddenly Rosie O’Donnell walked by. She paused. "Everything okay here?" I turned to Rosie. "It’s okay. I can handle this. Someone’s just a little upset, that’s all." "Ya sure?" "Yeah." "All right." Rosie shrugged her shoulders and walked away. Winona made a small sniffling noise. I turned to her. "Tell me what’s wrong, baby. Let it all out." Winona wiped her nose. She glared at me. "You made fun of me. You made fun of me." I put my other hand on Winona’s other shoulder. I tried to steady her. She was trembling. "When baby? When did I make fun of you?" "When I was-- when I was talking to Terri Nunn. You told her-- you told her--" She stopped to wipe her nose. "--You said I was in Aliens 4."

I ran my fingers softly through her hair. "But baby, you were in Aliens 4." She looked up at me. "YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO TELL HER THAT." Winona collapsed against me, sobbing. I listened to her sniffling. I held her tightly. "There, there…Shhh…It’s okay…there, there…" Winona was shaking. "I hate you. I really hate you." "Shh, baby, don’t say that. You don’t hate me." She nodded her head against my chest. "Yes I do." I rubbed her back for a moment. Then I stepped back and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of my Antigua sport shirt. "No, baby…it’s all right…You don’t really hate me. Lots of women say that. But they don’t really mean it. Trust me."

Winona sniffled and wiped her nose. She looked at my shirt and nodded vaguely. "I do hate you…" I wiped another tear from her face. "But, baby, hate is the same as love. Hate comes from anger. And anger leads to the dark side. Don’t be that way, baby." Winona looked up at me. "You humiliated me…" I put my arm around her. "I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to." "Yes, you did." "No, I didn’t." "Yes, you did." I lifted my arm from Winona. "Let me get you a drink, baby. You know, to make it up to you." Winona shook her head. She wiped her nose on her sleeve. "I don’t drink." I looked at her. "Not even champagne?" "They have champagne here?" "Sure, baby. I only go where there’s champagne."

Winona looked around the room for a moment. She turned back to me. "Well, maybe just one glass." "That’s the spirit, baby."

Winona wiped her nose again. She looked up at me. I took her arm and led her up to the bar

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