Dinner With Kathie Lee

Two nights later I met Kathie Lee Gifford for dinner at her hotel. Kathie Lee was vaguely nervous to see me, so she brought Vanetta Lee Rogers, her production coordinator, along for company. But I was well prepared. I knew that Kathie Lee would probably bring a friend, so I brought a friend, too–my buddy, Spooky Jed. And Jed happened to be a few years younger than me. But half of America knew him because, in college, he’d been involved with the daughter of a nationally famous politician. The whole thing approached a scandal when the girl became pregnant. Jed wasn’t allowed custody of the child.

Kathie Lee and Vanetta Lee recognized Jed instantly when we all met, in the lobby of her hotel.

"Well, hello," Kathie Lee said. "I’m so glad you guys could join us."

"Hey." I gave Kathie Lee a kiss on the cheek. I smiled and shook Vanetta Lee’s hand. Then I turned and pointed to Jed. "Ladies, this is Mr. Spooky Jed himself."

Jed grinned. "How’ya doing?"

"Hi."

"Hello."

I turned to Jed. "Jed, this is the lovely and the talented Kathie Lee Gifford–one of the loves of my life." I paused. "And this is Vanetta Lee Rogers, one of the great young women in television today."

"Oh stop," Vanetta Lee said.

Jed and Vanetta Lee shook hands. "It’s a pleasure."

"Likewise."

Kathie Lee stepped in front of Jed. She was smiling her tough-as-a-rock smile. She took Jed’s hand. "This is a pleasure." Her voice was husky, sexy. "I finally get to meet the infamous Spooky Jed."

"Yes, you do," Jed said.

They shook hands. I smiled at all of them. "Well…shall we get a table?"

"Great."

We stepped off to the dining room. I watched Kathie Lee’s dress stretch back and forth across her hips. We stepped down a carpeted staircase and entered the dining room. A maitre d’ greeted us. "Welcome to Chez Panagopoulos…" He ushered us to a table near the back of the room. He lit a candle on our table and announced, "Someone will be with you shortly."

I looked across at Vanetta Lee, who was smiling and looking at Spooky Jed. Vanetta Lee was younger than Kathie Lee–a pretty girl, with dark hair and light eyes. She was from somewhere in the South. She still had her southern twang.

"Hey, Vanetta Lee," I said. "Where ya' from?"

"Mississippi."

"Right, right. I knew that."

Spooky Jed smiled at Vanetta Lee. "So your name’s Vanetta Lee?"

"Yup." She smiled a proud, little girl smile.

Jed turned to Kathie Lee. "Was that some kind of pre-condition? You know, if she wanted to work for you?"

Kathie Lee frowned. "Huh?"

"You know–her name’s Vanetta Lee. Like Kathie Lee. Is that just a coincidence? Did you make her take the name Vanetta Lee?"

Vanetta Lee giggled. "No, that’s my real name. Vanetta Lee Rogers."

"Oh."

Kathie Lee turned to me. "Did you hear about Peggy’s kid?"

"No, what?"

"It’s so sad," Vanetta Lee said.

I looked from Kathie Lee to Vanetta Lee. "What happened?"

Kathie Lee shook her head. She seemed to get choked-up. "He fell from the balcony of their house–you know, the one in Malibu, with the back porch?"

I nodded. "Right."

"He was climbing on the railing and he fell off."

"No…"

"It was horrible."

"I’m sure."

Spooky Jed shook his head. "Did it live?"

Kathie Lee looked at him. "What?"

"The kid. Did it live?"

Kathie Lee stared at me for a moment, then turned back to Jed. "No, he didn’t. He died."

"Oh."

A waiter came over. He introduced himself as ‘Kevin’ and offered us a copy of the wine list. We picked a bottle of California Merlot. "Gotta go with the Merlot," Jed said.

"Really?" Vanetta Lee asked.

"Oh, absolutely. At this time of year? Man, anything else would be a travesty."

I nodded. "Exactly–a travesty." I looked at Kathie Lee. "Isn’t that right?"

Kathie Lee paused. "I don’t know. But I’m sure you’re right. You’re always right."

I turned to Jed. "See, Kath is in complete agreement with me. Isn’t that nice?"

The waiter left. There was an awkward pause. Finally Kathie Lee turned to Spooky Jed. "So, tell us… What have you been doing lately?"

"Oh, not much. Just meeting people, getting phone numbers. Having fun." He winked at her. "`Know what I mean?"

"I think so."

Kathie Lee gave me another look. But I ignored her. I said, "Has anyone watched that new show with the two girl lifeguards who go back to school?"

Vanetta Lee shook her head. "No–what show?"

Jed said, "Ahh, you gotta see it. It’s great. Beautiful women on TV. I can never get enough."

I smiled. "Me, too. I just need that sometimes."

Vanetta Lee giggled. "There’s certainly a lot of shows like that lately."

I nodded. "Yes, there are. There certainly are."

Our waiter reappeared with a bottle of wine. He held it out for Spooky Jed’s inspection. "Your Merlot, sir."

Jed nodded. "Wonderful."

I said, "Now he’s gonna unscrew the cork." I looked at Kathie Lee. "Kath, as I recall, this was always your favorite part. You know how you liked it when–"

"Yes, yes." She put up her hand to stop me.

The waiter took a corkscrew from the vest pocket of his uniform. He placed the bottle on the table and began to screw in the corkscrew. I looked at Kathie Lee, who was vaguely watching the waiter. I stared at her. After a moment she noticed me staring at her. She looked away.

The waiter finished uncorking the bottle of wine. There was a soft, wet POP as he pulled out the cork. He poured a taste glass and handed it to Jed.

Jed took a sip and smiled. "Mmm–c’est magnifique." He sipped the glass and nodded to the waiter. "This is terrific. A wonderful, blood red California wine."

"Blood red," I said. "Mmm…"

The waiter made a gesture to pour glasses for all of us. Jed nodded, "Please."

The waiter picked up Vanetta Lee’s glass and filled it. She smiled excitedly. Kathie Lee looked away as the waiter filled her glass. He walked around the table and poured Jed’s glass. I offered my glass to the waiter. He poured mine. I smiled. "Ahh, yes, wonderful."

The waiter left. We sipped our wine. Jed smiled. "You know, there’s nothing like good company, good wine, lovely ladies." He held up his glass.

"Yes," I said. "Here’s to the beautiful ladies." I raised my glass and smiled at Vanetta Lee.

"Here, here," Jed said. "Maybe we should order another bottle now." He smiled at Vanetta Lee. "I’m sure we’ll want more."

I turned to Vanetta Lee. "What do you think, Vanetta Lee? Should we order another bottle now? Or we could wait. I just want you to enjoy yourself."

"Oh, that’s so sweet of you–"

There was a sudden clinking of silverware as Kathie Lee threw her napkin on the table. She stood up and walked out of the restaurant.