The Boozehound Returns

I was in San Francisco, working on Eddie Murphy's 'Metro II,' when I got a phone call from my agent. Robert Redford happened to be in town and my agent suggested that I meet him for a drink at Caffe Proust in the Western Addition. I'd been drinking beer in my hotel room, but I quickly hopped into a cab and rode over to the restaurant.

I arrived to find Redford sitting at the bar with Clint Eastwood. They were discussing women who looked especially good in high heels. I noticed that Eastwood was sipping a Guinness. I pulled up a barstool and ordered a Bud.

We sat there and drank our beers. After a few Budweisers, I hoisted my pint glass. "Man, I love beer. I'm gonna get my kids on it as soon as I can."

Eastwood looked at me. "You have kids?"

I smiled. "Well, not yet. But when I do, I'm gonna make sure they can drink a beer...soon as they're old enough."

Redford looked at me. "Make sure you tell them about moderation."

I finished my beer and motioned to Mike the bartender for a refill. Then I turned to Redford. "I hear that."

Eastwood lifted his pint glass. "There's nothing like a good Guinness."

Redwood shook his head. "I don't know...I'm pretty partial to Coors."

The bartender put a fresh Bud in front of me. I took a long sip. Then I slapped my hand on the bar. "Fellas, let me tell you: life is all about simplicity. It's all about Budweiser."

Eastwood squinted at me. "Budweiser, huh?"

I pointed to my Bud. "Come on. Look at those fish swim."

"Huh?"

"My fishies. Look at them swim."

"What fish?"

"The bubbles. See them swimming up. I call them my fishies."

Eastwood looked at Redford. "What's wrong with this guy?"

"I don't know."

Eastwood stared at me for a moment. Then he turned to Redford. "I'm outta here."

"Me too."

Eastwood finished his Guinness. Redford left two $20 bills on the bar. They stood up and walked out. I took another sip of my Bud.

 

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