Back in 1977, when I was 6 years old, I had already gone to a few movies. My folks had taken me to the drive-in theater to see Herbie Goes To Monte Carlo, instantly creating an interest for Volkswagen Bugs in my young mind. They had also brought me to a few cartoons and G rated features from Disney like The Apple Dumpling Gang. Still, I had never seen a PG movie. In a way they frightened me with things deemed “too scary” for a little boy by my parents. So when they insisted that my movie right of passage into the world of PG films was going to be Star Wars, it made me very nervous.
Talking cars and Don Knotts I could certainly handle, but Wars fought in Space? That was really scary to me. I think I complained all the way to the theater, but was a big boy and sat right down in the Century City Edwards Cinemas (since demolished) and watched the loudest, coolest and most amazing thing I had ever seen.
Star Wars: Episode IV: A New Hope.
To everyone back then it was just called Star Wars. Although the title crawl said “Episode IV: A New Hope”, no one knew what Episodes I, II, and III were, nor if they would ever exist. Fans quickly learned there were rumored to be 9 episodes in total. Some of my friends on the schoolyard swore up and down that somehow they had gotten copies of all 9 scripts right from George Lucas. Growing up close to Hollywood you just might believe that if someone is convincing enough.
Star Wars became a huge international smash, spawning toys, parodies in Mad Magazine, and a hoard of imitation Sci-Fi shows, movies and stuff like cereal and Underoos. Soon they announced that Lucas was making Episodes V and VI. We began to realize that we were actually going to witness an epic saga unfold. To me, who loved each one of the installments, that was beautiful.
After “Return of The Jedi” came out in 1983, Lucas said he was done with Darth Vader and The Rebel Alliance for a while. He went on to ruin Steve Gerber’s Howard TheDuck and make a few more Indiana Jones movies with Spielberg. With the patience of a hermit Jedi, we sat and waited for word on whether or not Episodes I – III (or VII – IX) would ever be made.
Speculation arose. The Star Wars universe grew during this dormant time with hardcover fiction novels taking place in “The Expanded Universe”. Comic books from Marvel and Dark Horse, as well as a syndicated newspaper comic strip, told the further adventures of Luke Skywalker and the rest of the cast. Video games that focused on events outside of the Original Trilogy helped fuel the fan base in this time of drought.
In 1998, when it was announced that the first III were actually going to be made, the anticipation was so great that to some it provided a will to live… To actually see how the story began. It was a magical time, full of rainbows, and Internet jobs and economic prosperity… A time of the Republic under President Clinton. Before the Dark Times. Before The Empire.
Of course, when the first movie came out, many people hated it. HATED IT. Many of the original fans felt cheated by the story of Anakin Skywalker as a young kid. Many felt Lucas had let them down.
Still, in the back of everyone’s collective unconscious who saw the film, they remembered Queen Amidala. They remembered the Pod Races and the lightsaber duel with Darth Maul. The images were still powerful and unforgettable.
When I heard that Episode II was going to be called “Attack of The Clones”, even a staunch fan like me thought that was corny. It sounded like a B-Movie about zombies. Still, I was there at The Mann Chinese on opening night with the rest of the dorks, happy as a Bantha in a pool of Hutt blood.
Of course, most people I spoke with hated this one as well. Everywhere I went I heard “Star Wars sucks now.” Or “The Matrix is so much better than that tired old Star Wars shit.” Well, there’s no accounting for personal taste. I was still planning on seeing Episode III the day it came out and wanted to do something special…
I was going to watch every episode of the Star Wars saga in chronological order, along with the various supplementals that have been released, over the course of a 24 hour period on the day the third and final(?) installment of the film came out. This was a feat that was not possible until now. I had lived long enough to see the whole thing. “The circle is now complete.”
I bought a ticket at my local movie theater about a month before the movie came out. The theater was The Culver Stadium 12 in Culver City. It’s right next to the hotel the munchkins stayed in when they made The Wizard of Oz. They filmed a movie about it called Under The Rainbow with Chevy Chase and Princess Leia.
A lot of the Star Wars Dorks had camped out around The Mann Chinese Theater for over a month, even though the film wasn’t supposed to be playing there, simply because it was “tradition”. I thought that was retarded. Waiting in line for anything for a month seems like a complete waste of time, no matter how many interesting experiences you might have sitting on your fat, unshowered Jedi ass, let alone for a movie that was playing somewhere else. Hope they actually got to see it...
To me, my fanboy time would be better served by my planned marathon…
I timed it out so that I could see everything in order if I started at midnight and ran movies constantly for 26 hours. There would be little time in between to eat, shower or take notes. All the food I consumed had to be Star Wars product tie-ins (with the exception of Red Bull and Rockstar energy drinks, which I absolutely needed to stay awake.)
Of course, I asked my friends and my fiancée if they would join me and everyone said “NO!” Many who respected me began to wonder if I had indeed become a psychotic loser. I tried recruiting others on www.theforce.net to join me via their message boards, but no one agreed. It looked like I was going to be doing this Han Solo.
Well, May 19th, 2005 came and went, and I succeeded in watching everything I set out to watch with the sole exception of the live action Ewok Adventures, which would have taken 3 extra hours after “Return of The Jedi”. Lucky for me, we have a 65 inch digital TV with THX surround sound and I had obtained high quality bootlegs of some choice Star Wars stuff that has yet to be released on official DVDs. I wore my “Revenge of The Jedi” shirt and black jeans and proceeded to learn the ways of The Jedi for 23 non-stop hours.
During the day I chronicled my state of mind and wrote small reviews of the films on Live Journal (livejournal.com), which will be reprinted (with a few edits) below:
10:33pm: The Star Wars Marathon is about to begin.
I got a few hours rest today. Tried to sleep from 3:30pm till 6, when I woke up and got some KFC. It's hard to get the body to sleep during the day. My friend Erich can ONLY sleep in daylight hours, but he's a fucking vampire. After dinner I managed to almost get to that stage of dreaming (but not quite) between 6:45pm and 10. Good thing I had a full 8 hours the night before. 26 hours is gonna be a tough amount of time to stay alert and awake. Part of me wants to cheat and call some of my drug addict pals and have them deliver some crystal meth, but I don't want to turn myself over to the Dark Side of The Force just yet. I'm not ruling it out completely, but hopefully it won't come to that. It’s been many, many, many years since any kind of drug has gone up my nose, and I was never a big fan of that shit. My body reacts badly to it and days after that stuff is out of my system I get extremely depressed and my butt breaks out with pimples. Not really worth it for Star Wars. Besides, I actually have no idea how to get in touch with any of those people anymore, and it just doesn't seem worth it to me to try.
Jesse is on her way back from her play rehearsal and I wonder if we should make whoopee tonight. It's kind of like a fighter before a big match. Will it charge me up or take some of my energy away? Decisions decisions...
Current Mood:awake
12:09am: Just finished GEORGE LUCAS IN LOVE, which is a short film by Joe Nussbaum I first saw online. The same bootleg DVD that I got that has THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL had this, and I figured it would be a good one to start with continuity wise, since it's about George Lucas as a student with writer's block trying to write Star Wars. He meets a Princess Leia look-alike and she becomes his inspiration. The film has a funny twist ending too. You can get it online at www.amazon.com
SPOILER: One thing that I thought was cute but not really accurate was how at the end a friend of George Lucas comes in with a duck and says "Hey, do you like my duck? I think I'll name him Howard!" Lucas then looks like another light bulb in his head went off, giving us the idea that he was responsible for dreaming up Howard The Duck. Not true. Steve Gerber was. George Lucas was only responsible for ruining the character.
Current Mood:awake
12:26am: Beginning STAR WARS EPISODE ONE: THE PHANTOM MENACE right now. Will have 1 DIET ROCKSTAR ENERGY DRINK, and some STAR WARS FRUIT SNACKS from Kellogg’s.
Current Mood:awake
2:48am: STAR WARS EPISODE ONE: THE PHANTOM MENACE THOUGHTS:
The first time I saw this one it was opening day, I was on acid, and O.J. Simpson and his daughter were in the audience. Being on acid kind of made it like I was 8 years old again. I didn't notice the "overt racial stereotypes" (as my brother calls it, and he should know!) of the Gungans and the Viceroys from The Trade Federation, nor did I care about Jake Lloyd's acting. I thought it was great. To be fair, even Kenny Loggins seems like a musical genius if you're tripping hard enough.
I actually liked “The Phantom Menace”. The pod races were cool, as were the lightsaber fight with Qui Gonn Jinn, Obi Wan and Darth Maul at the end. It wasn't my favorite of the series, but not as dreadful as some have said. OK, some scenes and dialogue were cheezy, but it's still interesting to see how the puzzle pieces begin to form. Darth Maul mentions the Sith will finally get their revenge. The Jedi Council thinks the Sith were extinct for over a millennia. Did the Jedis wipe out the Sith? Is this another prequel?
Jesse woke up twice during the movie. The first time because of the noise from the surround sound and the second time because the covers were too warm. Poor girl. She has to work at 9:30am.
I continue my madness next with STAR WARS EPISODE TWO: ATTACK OF THE CLONES.
I'll be eating some STAR WARS CHEEZ-ITS and 2 DIET RED BULLS.
Current Mood:awake
5:25 am: Ah, STAR WARS EPISODE II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES.
I saw this one at The Mann Chinese at midnight opening night with all the geeks. I could understand how some folks could wait a month, but I just got my ticket 2 weeks beforehand and waited 3 hours. Still got decent seats. No acid for that showing. Jesse will hate me saying this, but Natalie Portman looked amazing in this one... especially in that white skin tight Wilma Deering Buck Rogers outfit they had her in at the end. I wonder if any of her boyfriends have ever dressed up like Darth Vader while banging her. She's probably too uptight for stuff like that. I read somewhere in an interview with her that one of her friends was quoted as saying at a Moliere play they were attending "I've never seen Moliere... in English!" That’s SOOO Ivy league. I don't mean to knock her, she seems like a nice person and very intelligent, but probably acts a little snobby around mere mortals. Probably high maintenance. I'm just assuming of course.
Yoda was also hilarious in this one. Yoda used to be one of my favorite Muppets, but can you really call him a Muppet anymore now that he's completely CGI? That lightsaber fight at the end was both fascinating and completely ridiculous. There were a few other nice moments in this film: The death of Anakin's mother for one. Loved hearing the Darth Vader motif subtly played in the background after Anakin got back from killing all those Ara... I mean Tusken Raiders. Ever notice how many severed limbs there are in these movies? Anakin's hand, C3P0's head, Jango Fett's head... and then you also have Darth Maul being cut in two in Episode One and Luke's hand in “The Empire Strikes Back”... Just noticing. My guess is that Boba Fett is gonna get his revenge on Mace Windu in the next one.
Still awake. A bit wired from all the caffeine, but I'm determined to see this through. Next up is THE CLONE WARS ANIMATED SERIES. Folks don't realize that all 3 seasons of this cartoon (which aired on Cartoon Network and takes place between Episodes II and III) take about 3 hours to get through. The first 2 seasons are released on DVD, but I had to get a bootleg of the third season to complete the series. I just checked my schedule and realized it's breakfast time! I'm going to have some YODA FROSTED FLAKES (you bet I'm gonna use my Light Up Saber Spoon!) and some DARTH VADER POP TARTS along with another DIET ROCKSTAR! More reports to come!
Current Mood:awake
8:32am: LOVED THOSE CLONE WAR CARTOONS! Genndy Tartakovsky's animation is perfect for Star Wars. Imagine Samurai Jack as a Jedi and you'll get an idea how cool this is. Never saw them before today and I'm impressed. Still, the first season that was released on DVD is mostly battles featuring Mace Windu, Anakin and Obi Wan, but the episodes they DIDN'T release yet are much better. Each segment is longer, and there's more General Grevious, who is gonna be a helluva villain in the new movie. Can't wait! The new season of Clone Wars cartoons also has Anakin going through his trials to become a Jedi, and more on the status of his relationship with Padme now that they are married and the wars are in full effect. Glad I got to see them all and it's a shame they couldn't officially release this stuff in time. You can see them online though at www.cartoonnetwork.com.
Now I'm gonna shit, shower, and shave and get my ass in line at the Culver 12. I'm exhausted already, but have resolved to make it all the way through the series. The Force is with me, and I have plenty of Red Bull left!
Current Mood:tired
1:16 pm: THOUGHTS ON STAR WARS EPISODE III: REVENGE OF THE SITH
Just walked back from the movie theater. Yep. That's right. Walked back. That's the great thing about living near the Culver 12. A nice, big theater without the crowds that you can walk to. My general state of mind is clear and I'm ready for the next movies.
In line I was talking to the Star Wars geeks. One guy was telling me about how much more he loved the Empire than the Jedi’s. He thought they were much more efficient and stronger as a governing force. I told him "You must be a Republican."
There was no line at all and I got great seats. The film was a classic Greek tragedy, Shakespearean in its scope. Did I like it more than the last 2? No. All of them need to be seen to complete the story. It's like asking if you like the last half of a play better than the first... or in this case, the middle. Each segment compliments each other and you see the characters grow, change and suffer or triumph from their circumstances. STAR WARS EPISODE III REVENGE OF THE SITH is definitely the suffering chapter. It was pretty sad, actually, but made my resolve to see every one of the films today even stronger. Shit, I don't even feel tired.
By the way, strike what I said about Boba Fett and Mace Windu in the earlier post. Glad I was wrong about that because it would've been too obvious. I won't say anything else to spoil any surprises.
As far as The Clone Wars cartoons, however... These are an essential part of the story and I am so grateful I got the opportunity to see all of them before Episode III. It adds an incredible amount of depth to the new movie and actually explains many things that are not covered at all in the film... like where Anakin gets the scar on his face, how General Grevious gets injured and why he was considered such a threat, and a myriad of other stuff. Unfortunately, the real important chapters in the Clone Wars cartoons are the ones that haven't been released yet. Do whatever you can to grab them because they really make the story better.
Gonna have some lunch and begin the original trilogy at 2! For lunch it’s a BURGER KING WHOPPER and ONION RINGS (Star Wars tie-in on the boxes).
Current Mood: thoughtful
4:02 pm: Just saw STAR WARS EPISODE 4: A NEW HOPE.
My physical condition is tired but too much caffeine to sleep. I have the drive to make it all the way through till the end!
The original Star Wars was still great after all these years. You definitely see it with a new perspective after watching all the prequels. It's funny when you think about the fact that Natalie Portman is supposed to play Carrie Fisher's mom and she wasn't even born when this one came out. Think how strange that will be to the generations to come that will be able to watch the series in order. I noticed a few minor continuity inconsistencies in the dialogue. Even if C3P0 had his mind wiped, if he was working on board Princess Leia's ship, he should have recognized who she was when R2D2 began playing the hologram.
The new DVDs look nice. My friend (who shall remain nameless because she signed a non-disclosure contract about it) helped clean up all the grain and soot on the original trilogy Star Wars prints for their DVD release. She and her pals worked hard on that and it really shows.
Onward to the STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL and TROOPS!
Gonna have 2 more Red Bulls and some Star Wars Kudo's Bars!
Current Mood: awake
6:12pm: Oh man... THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL always proves to be a painful experience. Besides meeting Chewbacca's dad Itchy, his wife Mala and son Lumpy, we get to witness Harvey Korman doing one of the worst robot imitations ever put on film, Dianne Carrol and Jefferson Starship singing some of the worst songs EVER, and Bea Arthur doing a song and dance number with the bar patrons of the Mos Eisley Cantina. By the time Princess Leia breaks out into song, I wanted to rip my eyes out of their sockets and bash my brains into a wall. I'll take a million Jar Jar Binks over seeing Art Carney kissing a Wookie again. This was definitely the hardest thing to get through all day. Sat through TROOPS as well, which was sort of funny but not as good as I remembered. It’s a COPS parody with Imperial Stormtroopers.
Gonna heat up a BURGER KING CHICKEN SANDWICH (Star Wars tie-in on the boxes) and put on STAR WARS EPISODE V: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK and try to regain my sanity, which is rapidly deteriorating from that last horrible show and the sleep deprivation.
Current Mood: crazy
8:44pm: STAR WARS EPISODE 5: THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK is most people's favorite of the series. It has Luke meeting Yoda, Han Solo getting frozen in carbonite, Leia kissing Han for the first time, Leia kissing Luke (eww!), and of course, the "I am your Father" line. Mr. Colt 45 Billy Dee Williams shows up for the first time, and it ends in a cliffhanger. I remember seeing it for the first time at the old Hollywood Egyptian on opening weekend with MY father. Still held up tonight, but after seeing the super choreographed lightsaber fights in the prequels, the Luke vs. Darth Vader battles seem almost sloppy. This, of course, was before CGI sparring.
Current Mood: exhausted
11:07pm: STAR WARS EPISODE 6: RETURN OF THE JEDI, the first time I saw that one was 3 days before it officially came out. A friend gave me passes literally 10 minutes before the screening was supposed to start at 20th Century Fox, and my mom drove like a bat out of hell to the theater (almost hit Richard Blade's limo actually!). My friend and I were the last to get in and the envy of the 5th grade.
It was nice to see this one after witnessing the entire saga all day today. FYI they changed the actor at the end when Luke sees the "ghosts" of Obi Wan, Yoda and Anakin to Hayden Christenson. Although these revisions seem like sacrilege to many purists, and it sucks for the original actor guy who is now cut out of that scene, it seemed to make more sense to me.
It's about 11:21 and I've been watching movies since midnight of last night. I think I'm gonna skip the Ewok live action movies for a few reasons. One, I'm exhausted. Two, I think “Return of the Jedi” is a much better capper to the day than Ewoks, and three because I just don't think I can take any more. Hopefully folks will understand and not be too upset by this omission. Two things I noticed that are in every Star Wars movie: lots of severed limbs and "I have a bad feeling about this" uttered at least once.
I'm going to fucking bed.
Current Mood: exhausted.###
Howard Hallis lives in Los Angeles. Visit HowardHallis.com.
To read other work by Howard Hallis, click here.